My Apologies

After President Obama's recent apology to Afganistan President Karzai for a koran burning incident in Afghanistan, I felt inspired to add a few apologies of my own.  
To President Hamid Karzai:


First of all, I am sorry that our country ever supported the Mujaheddin, of which you were a part, during the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan.  


I am even sorrier that we listened to you and supported you as President when you wanted the Taliban driven from your country in 2001.  


Since you were long in the habit of fleeing your own country when things got bad, I am particularly sorry that US forces assigned as your personal protection detail have saved your life from at least one assassination attempt that we know of.  


I am sorry that this koran burning is such a big deal, as the circumstances surrounding the incident are not widely known, but of course the US military is portrayed once again as the bad guy.  


I am deeply sorry that the burning of a few copies of the koran is a bigger deal to some of your people than murder.  


I am terribly sorry that your country, under your leadership, is so screwed up that your people have time to protest this, and that your leading exports to the world are terrorism and opium.  


I'm sorry to hear that your brother somehow got mixed up in the heroin trade, I'm sure its just a politically motivated smear campaign as he says.  


But most of all, I'm sorry that over 1800 US soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen have died in your country trying to clean the place up.  


Sorry, man.  Your bad.  


Check, please...