Wisdom o' the Gulf

(Originally published in Autorotate Magazine)

ERRWOLF’S GENERALIZED GULF WISDOM

(or, “Mistakes I’ve Made Lately”)

A sleeping passenger is a happy passenger.

A quick walk around inspection is the cheapest insurance you can get. 

Get rushed, get complacent, get hurt. 

How would you explain what you are doing right now to an accident investigator?

Pay attention to the old farts.  Well, most of them. 

Jet A etiquette: When on the beach, take as much fuel as you can carry.  When offshore, take no more fuel than you need.

A swimming passenger is a most unhappy passenger. 

Work boats are in a unique position to notice changes in the weather sooner than anyone else.  Many of them have radar.  If they start calling YOU to tell you about the weather, I hope you’re tied down. 

Turning the blade by hand before starting is a good way to check for those annoying tiedowns you may have forgotten. 

Want to meet a crane operator?  Land and take off when he’s operating the crane and doesn’t know you’re there.  

A passenger who had to take the boat because of bad weather may be a crabby passenger, but he’ll live through the ride. 

Some great truths in the Gulf of Mexico:

1.   You will have a headwind when you are short on gas.

2.   You will have bad visibility if you’re not sure where the destination is.

3.   You will have more flight time than sleep time the day after you stay up too late. (Try it, it works)

Above all else, fly the aircraft. 

Wash your own dishes and sheets and you’ll live longer.

A passenger who is upside down in a helicopter full of water is the unhappiest passenger of all.  This is why you should brief your passengers, preferably before you leave and not halfway through an emergency procedure.

If you need help at the shore base to put 30 gallons in your Bell 206 at 7AM on a Thursday, you are part of the problem. 

There are two times when you especially need to do a walk around inspection of the aircraft:

1.   When you are unfamiliar with your aircraft, and:

2.   When you are all too familiar with your aircraft. 

The more you check the weather, the less you will be surprised when some weather shows up. 

Don’t feel so paranoid, they’re all trying to kill me too. 

Fly safe, EW